


Goblet of Fire, Harry's Way

by Applepie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 4: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Gen, Humor, Triwizard Tournament
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-08-08
Updated: 2011-07-08
Packaged: 2017-12-09 14:29:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/775257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Applepie/pseuds/Applepie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry's annoyed of having been bound to participate in the Triwizard Tournament he didn't even want. Why does he have to care? He's getting out of it whether you judges like it or not. What's the safest way to get out of this ... ? Think outside the box.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. But he can do it so much better then me!

"- And the champion for Hogwarts: Cedric Diggory!"

As the teen stood up to make his way up to the front, cheers from his school followed behind him. Cedric's housemates rose and whistled as he walked by.

"Now, if –" Headmaster Dumbledore stopped as the Goblet of fire, the one to choose the contestants, spat out yet another name. "Harry Potter … ?"

For a second there was silence, and then the whole Hall erupted. Accusations and insults were thrown as Harry ascended the stage. His denials were thrown aside, despite having his professor's word that 'Harry wouldn't do that'.

Even as he stepped down the stage and through the Grand Doors to join the rest of the champions, his words refused to penetrate through the minds of the students. They were just too angry to listen to his innocent pleads.

 

"I'm sorry, Harry, but you're bound to participate in this Tournament," Dumbledore said solemnly as the other professors argued amongst each other. "Otherwise, you will loose your magic."

"WHAT?" Harry cried, jolting in shock, "There has to be a way!" There was no way he was going to loose his magic.

The old man gave a nod thoughtfully. "Ludo, you know the rules in-side-out. Is there really no way to let the poor boy out of it? Any loopholes?"

Ludo Bagman, a fifth judge and announcer in the Triwizard Tournament, furrowed his brow in thought. "There is," he admitted slowly. He paused, recollecting the exact words, "'In a case where one competitor is greatly voted against by spectators, said wizard or witch is exempted from the games for disputing the general appreciation of Tournament. None of the votes are allowed from schools participating, and/or family of unchosen students. Likewise, unforeseen events rendering competitor unable to fully participate in Tournament may or may not excuse them, based on a general voting from spectators in an unbiased manner for said wizard or witch's consequence,'" he quoted.

It was a hopeless suggestion, it seemed. Not only the Headmaster, but even the other champions realised how futile it was for Harry to be voted off by the audience. He was, after all, The-Boy-Who-Lived, the most recognized of all celebrities in existent.

Harry himself realized it as well. "Tell them I cheated!" he yelled.

"So you admit it now," a greasy voice called out from the professor's end.

Harry didn't even need to look to see who it was. Snape. As much as he wanted to get angry, he couldn't - not before sorting out this mess. Harry shook his head, "No," he said in a controlled voice, "but as long as it gets people to hate me and vote me off from participating, I'll do whatever it takes."

In the end, with a good luck pat from Cedric and jealous glares from the other two (Victor Krum and Fleur Delacour), Harry wandered off, dreading his cursed luck of having to join in the Tournament after all.

Was it ever going to be possible to live through a school year without potential putting himself in danger? No? He didn't think so either.

Oh, to dream the impossible dream...

* * *

 

Dragons.

Dragons, of all things, was the First Task.

Professor Moody's not-so-subtle hint of summoning his Firebolt was quickly discarded after his first failed attempt at the  _accio_  spell. Seriously, why did he have to work hard on something he didn't even want to enter in the first place?

Harry shook his head to clear to nagging voice in his head (which surprisingly sounded like Hermione – maybe it  _was_  her) telling him to suck it up and learn it because it was the only thing they could come up with after days and days of research.

Harry was on the verge of sucking it up and giving in like a good boy like Hermione wanted, when Luna wandered by.

"Hello Harold," she greeted dreamily.

If only he was like Luna, Harry supposed, she didn't have a single care in the world. In fact, even better, if he was Luna, people might immediately kick him out of the tournament because, frankly, he would be loony.

"No, I think outside the box," she corrected his thoughts.

-wait, what? How did she correct something she didn't even hear?

"It showed on your face," she answered yet again.

"Right." He drawled unbelievingly. She was one odd girl. "Anyways, since you 'think outside the box' what ways can you think of to win?" No, wait, that's not what he wanted, "What do you think I can do to not participate in the tournament and not lose my magic?" he correct himself.

Luna smiled, "Plenty."

That didn't help.

She continued, "Just stop thinking like normal wizards." At Harry's beg for a hint, she added, "A spell may be a spell, but doesn't need to be a spell." And then she turned to leave, hopping around as if trying to grab something invisible in the air.

Harry didn't bother calling her back (because honestly, would it even help if he did?). What was she trying to say?  _When I cast a spell, it doesn't have to be a spell?_

Waving his hand idly in the air as he walked over to Hagrid's Hut for tea, he replayed Luna's words. Harry froze suddenly, mid-step. If possible, he was certain there was a 'click' above his head the moment he finally understood.  _A spell that wasn't a spell._ Of course!

* * *

 

Harry sat in the tent, listening to the audience cheer for Krum, poking his miniature Hungarian Horntail occasionally.

His turn was any moment now.

When he was ushered into the arena, Harry turned towards the crowd.

"Listen up!" he yelled. The Horntail looked over before sticking her head back under her wing uninterested. If the boy got any closer to her egg, then she would react. "I don't want to be in this tournament, and I need your vote to get off it!"

Immediately 'no's and 'no way's and 'Harry Potter stays' were shouted back.

Despite telling them he cheated, and they were stupid, and he was going to die here, no one changed their opinions. It was like they  _wanted_  their precious Boy-Who-Lived to take unnecessary risks and die or something.

Fine, if Plan A didn't work, he would go with Plan B.

"I'm allergic to dragons."

There was a silence of disbelief.

"Mr Potter," Ludo Bagman yelled over by the judges' stand, "That is the most pathetic excuse ever."

"But I am!" he insisted.

"You're standing close to one right now and I don't see you sneezing!"

"Not close enough."

"A little sneezing won't hinder you."

Damn, that was true. "I break out in hives!" Harry cried. "You don't want to see me all hivey, do you?"

"Take the allergy potion."

And this was why being a wizard was so inconvenient. He couldn't get away with his excuses. Oh well, Plan C it was, then.

"Actually, I'm not allergic to them; I'm scared of them." This might work, "I just said I was allergic 'cause I'm shameful to admit it. I have drakonophobia."  _Ha, beat this_  Harry thought as Bagman stared at him. Hopefully he knew it meant 'fear of dragons' and not 'fear of Draco (Malfoy)'.

"You go to Gringotts?" The man asked.

"Yeah." Harry answered, before his brain caught up. Shoot, he just blew it for himself.

Bagman smirked at the boy, "Drakonophobia hasn't stopped you from going to your vault."

So close to getting away with it! Harry cleared his mind from to panic.  _I can do this,_ "Yeah, what does this have to do with anything?"

Karkaroff, a rather impatient judge, snarled at the boy, "Potter, dragons guard the vaults, especially near old families like the Potters."

Damn it, his plans were being shown as a sham. Harry scampered to fix the problem. "Really?" He asked innocently, "I always thought they were just large lizards."

There was a sigh. "Mr Potter, that's what a dragon is."

Harry gave a 'oh' sound and widened his eyes. "Again, in my defence, I didn't know that."

"That enough, Potter; just pretend these are the big lizards in Gringotts."

"So I just ride a cart past them?"

At their stares, Harry rolled his eyes. "Fine, I get it." Good thing he had a Plan D as well. His motto was 'Be Prepared' – no, no it wasn't; it was 'I'm always lucky'. "Alright, I'll begin."

In the stands, the audience cheered, tired from the long wait.

"Then, let us BEGIN!" Bagman yelled dramatically with a whip of his wand to shower them in red sparks. His shout was also dramatically official.

Harry waved to his friends (despite the fact Ron wasn't talking to him) standing in the front beside Hagrid's large form. "Hey guys!" he shouted from his place in the centre of the field. He pointed his wand at them.

"Accio Hagrid."

Hagrid tumbled– jumped, fell, splat, whatever – from the stands, quaking the floor as he landed. The Hungarian Horntail looked up at the noise. Immediately, the half-giant's eyes became starry, staring at the magnificent beast before him.

"Hagrid, can you distract her when I get the egg?" Harry asked sweetly.

"Sure," the man answered. He barely listened to a word, reaching out towards the dragon with a large had. She spat at him.

The half-giant, with tougher skin than wizards, was unharmed and too happy to realize the mother's apparent hatred of him there. "C'om 'ere my lovely. Don' be af'raid, girl."

The Hungarian Horntail snarled, saliva dripping down her fangs.

"You're a pre'ty un, aren'cha? Are ta boys treatin' you well? I wonder if they'll let me keep ya?" He went on for hours.

As soon as the dragon was lured quite far from the egg itself (it took forever with Hagrid's desire to just play with the dragon rather than help Harry), Harry rushed forward to grab it. He almost missed his cue too. Well, you couldn't blame him; he was bored, and he thought Hagrid forgot what he was doing there in the first place. That's why - and yes, that was the only reason! - he went onto plan E. ... which involved sitting on the ground leisurely reading a Playwizard magazine. The ONLY reason, dammit! Shh, don't listen to Hermione!

Anyways, Harry got the egg and ran back through the door he came from just in time. Skilled with years of running experience from 'Harry Hunting', and the fact Hagrid managed to keep the dragon _really_  distracted, he was safe before the fireball shot at him made it. Barely.

The dragon trainers managed to get the Horntail calmed down before she could advance on Hagrid with her anger. Not that Hagrid minded of course, with his need to play with the beast still not satisfied yet. That singed beard of his was worth the price. And those missing eyebrows... who needs eyebrows anyways? And why did people need to panic so much just because his clothes were on fire?

He never understood wizards.

* * *

 

**LATER THAT DAY**

 

Harry sat on the ground, listening to Hermione's lecture of 'oh Merlin, how could you use Hagrid, a  _friend,_  as dragon bait', and Ron's rambling of 'I can't believe it, Bagman gave you a nine' and 'That damn Karkaroff gave you a zero because you were  _endangering a staff member_?'.

He grinned, "Thanks Ron. And Hermione, did you  _see_  how happy Hagrid was? He hasn't been that close to a dragon since they took Norbert away. It was the least I could do for him."

She huffed, "At least tell me when you were able to cast an  _accio._ That was a strong one, it pulled something as big as Hagrid so easily!"

"Never."

"What?"

Harry shrug, "I just planned it out with Hagrid – Luna's idea. Or at least what I think she meant. She probably had a safer plan, but this was the best I could think of with the hint she gave me."

Hermione might have muttered something about 'you listen to Luna but not me?' under her breath when Harry told her this, but Harry would be the first one to beg ignorance to this fact. After all, as long as Hermione didn't realise he heard, she couldn't actually make him feel guilty about it.

"Don't worry about it; I won't risk my life in the other tasks," Harry said, quickly moving on. At Hermione's skeptic stare, he added, "I promise. No matter what it takes."

She sighed, "Fine, just don't risk any more friends."

"Did you  _see_  Hagrid? He's practically bouncing off the walls being able to play with a dragon. You don't know how many times he's thanked me and bursted out in tears today."

"Just don't do that anymore."

Harry nodded, "Of course."

Today's plan was definitely more dangerous than he wanted anyways. It seemed he needed to take some 'thinking outside the box' classes with Luna, whatever those were. There was no way he would risk his life anymore in this Tournament. Once was enough to satisfy the whole annual-danger thing he had going on at Hogwarts. What's with that anyways?

Once was enough, even if he had to make up to a Plan Z to figure out how.

Harry smirked, gears in his brain already turning.  _Watch out Bagman, and all you judges, Harry's going to do the impossible and get out of participating whether you like it or not._


	2. You know, that bloody problem...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't really think of a way for Task Two to be safe unless Harry finds a way to get out of it. I mean, once you even touch the water, you're in danger of them merpeoples.

Ludovic "Ludo" Bagman raised his hand in the air, capturing the four contestant's attention.

"On my mark…" he yelled and the audience leaned in towards the dock where the champions stood. "GO!"

Fleur and Cedric quickly jumped in the lake. Krum entered a moment later after transfiguring his head into a shark's.

As for Harry Potter?

The crowd swiveled their heads over to peer at the Boy-who-Lived –or rather Boy-who-Lived-to-become-chosen-as-a-Triwizard-Cham pion-but-insisted-not-to-participate-in-the-First- Task-and-now-possibly-Second-Task-as-well-using-ra ther-pitiful-excuses. Said boy grinned at the crowd as they looked over at him.

"I'm sorry Mr Bagman, but I can't compete in this Task."

Would this be the first time he said this, the crowd would have been shocked. Alas, this was not, and it was, actually, quite expected.

Could you say anti-climatic?

"What now; waterphobia?" Bagman sniped sarcastically. Oh, he was so looking forward to working with Potter, but with his last stunt and now this, he was ruining the event for everyone.

"No, of course not! How can I drink, bathe, wash, and exist if I did? Did you know the body's made up of seventy percent of water, or something? It's –"

"That's enough." Bagman yelled. The boy would probably keep going on if he didn't stop him. Was that his new plan this time? "Why can't you participate, Harry?"

"Mr Potter," Harry cut in.

"Sorry?"

"Call me Mr Potter," he clarified, "When you say Harry, it feels insulting; it like calling me Baldy, which I'm not, by the way. I'm not hairy either."

"Mr Potter, then, w-"

Harry continued regardless of Bagman. "I mean, I  _am_  Harry, just not hairy –like 'Harry' Harry, not 'hairy', as in hair, hairy. Neither am I hairy Harry, you know, just 'Harry' Harry – not that I'm not hairy 'cause I have to have hair. I'm just not  _that_  hairy, if you see what I mean. So no hairy Harrys please, and for the sake of any misunderstandings, no 'Harry's either to solve the whole hairy situation. 'kay?"

His rant was met with a silent pause.

"… right, Potter," was Bagman's only response – or at least the only thing that he could come up with.

Percy, who was judging for Mr Crouch, realized the situation as what it really was, "Potter, stop stalling and answer the question. We aren't as singled mined as you that we'd forget our discussion if you decide to go off on a tangent."

Harry shuffled his feet on the wooden dock he stood on. "It's a funny thing, you see, and you can't blame me either-"

Percy all but snarled (in a pomponous snarling voice, mind you), "Make it snappy, Potter."

"Harry, my boy," Albus Dumbledore, another judge of the Second Task, spoke up in an attempt to get an answer. "I'm afraid young Mr Weasley is correct in hurrying with your answer. The other champions are well on their way, and right now you have quite an unfair disadvantage to them."

"Er, well, it's quite embarrassing, and really not my fault, 'cause I didn't realized in the beginning and all, and-"

"You probably didn't find out about the task and aren't ready for it, and now you're playing it off as a 'serious' problem." Percy sniffed in a disgusted voice. "You're making up excuses so you don't let you fan club down."

"Au contraire, Percy, muggle scuba diving gear would have worked easily, and I could have easily ordered it. It's not that I don't know how to tackle the second task, but that I can't at the moment." He chided, "And this isn't a 'Sirius' problem, unless you're trying to tell me that the Ministry's not taking care of that dilemma and I have to myself, you lazy bastards." Harry added, having no qualms in using the over-used joke.

" _Sukuba_  diving? What is that, my boy?" Albus cut in, not allowing Percy to take the bait Harry was dangling blatantly in front of him.

Harry waved it off. "A muggle thing."

"If that's not the problem, what is, boy?" Bagman yelled exasperatedly

"You're making me want to say it less with that tone."

Bagman grimaced, "Potter – Mr Potter – what is such a problem that you cannot participate in this honourable tradition?" he gritted out.

"It's simple really; I have my period."

There was a pregnant pause.

"Your what?"

Harry smiled. "Period," he confirmed, "I forgot about the bloody thing."

Percy, the fountain of knowledge, interrupted him once more, "An obvious lie. If you had any common sense, you'd know only females have the menstrual cycle."

"No, if we had sex ed. at Hogwarts, then that would be common sense." Harry retorted back, "Nevertheless, I don't see what that has to do with me and my period."

Professor McGonagall stepped forward from her place in the stand beside the docks. "Mr Potter, in my 25 years of teaching, I have never come across a  _male_  with a period."

"Why would anyone need to tell you about having a period anyway Professor? It's not against school rules or anything, so why would you need to be informed about one?"

"To help them, Mr Potter."

"If I knew you'd help, I wouldn't have spent all that time figuring out what to do!" Harry all but screamed in frustration.

"Nevertheless," Bagman yelled over the two, "Your excuse is discredited Potter. Please get on with your assigned task and stop spouting the impossible."

Harry glared at the man. "Excuse me?" he cried indigently, "Impossible? Why is it impossible for me to have one? It's more possible than surviving an  _Avada Kerdava._ And crossing the line to put my name in the Goblet! And defeating Voldemort at age one! And killing a Basilisk at age twelve! And producing a corporal patronous at age thirteen! And becoming the youngest seeker of the century on my first flying lesson! And being able to speak parseltongue despite not being of the Slytherin line!"

"Er-"

It was hard to disagree with the evidence.

"Albus, he has a point." Was Professor McGonagall's only response.

"Potter, you want us to believe that you started you period out of no where? You probably don't even have the necessary toiletries for such a thing!"

Harry gave a shrug, "Oh, I just borrow them."

"Really."

"Yeah." He turned towards the crowd, "Hey Luna, I borrow tampons from you, right?"

"I beg your pardon, Harold?" Luna asked airily despite the fact the other females in the audience were yelling about indecency.

"I borrowed a tampon from you yesterday for my period, right?" he repeated.

"That's quite right. The day before too." She frowned, "Do you need another one? You're going to use up my supply soon. Try limiting the times you come running to me  _again_ because your period did the unexpected and your tampon's soaked through, please."

"Hey," Harry yelled indigently, "It's not my fault it got soaked!" he turned back towards the Percy, "See; I'm well covered. She's the one who introduced me to them in the first place."

By the stands, Luna nodded happily.

"As you can see, I am in no position to jump into a lake today."

The judges, or rather Karkaroff and Percy started to yell about lies and deceits and being to get away with it just because he was the Boy-who-Lived.

Bagman patted the boy on his back. "I'm sorry Mr Potter, but I would hate to be seen as an unfair judge. Your excuse is denied."

Harry just smiled.

Why? The audience, mainly the females, did the arguing for him.

The judges were bombarded with accusations of being sexist and ignorant about the pains of the womanly problems among other things.

Madam Maxime spoke out for her sex, "Don't you malez beli'le ze situation. I'll 'ave you know, ze veek of 'ardship ve 'ave every month iz annoying an' extremely inconvenient – and zat doesn't even start to describe it. Swimming iz ze last thing anyone vould vant to do in such a case."

She was supported by the females in the stand.

"I -"

She stood up "You don't vant to be an unfair judge, no, but judging from zis, majority is on Mr Potter's side."

"I -" Madam Maxime towered over him, "I - very well then, by vote, Mr Potter, you are exempt from this Task in account of an unfortunate unforeseen event." He thought it over "If – I mean – if it is true and proved as such from a simple spell."

Harry nodded, "Okay."

Bagman cased it with a magnificent wave of his wand. "Potter, if your excuse is indeed true, you will flash a bright white light. If you're lying, it will flash black. It's easy to break through, but we're not here to do that, are we? So, please repeat your defence."

"I can't participate in this task because I have my period, and I'm afraid that my tampon will get wet, useless, and a bloody mess."

The light around him, despite what most expected, turned white.

"I –" Bagman, for the second time this day, was at a loss of words. "By both viewers and judges' decision, you are excused from this Task for it violates your wizarding rights, so mote be it."

Harry smirked with his back towards them.  _I'm getting so much better at this._

* * *

 

 

**LATER THAT DAY**

"Er, Harry, do you need a … er- a pad?"

Harry looked up at the voice. "No, I'm fine Hermione, thanks for asking."

She scratched her head nervously; it was hard talking to a guy about womanly problems. "I've talked with the other girls, and they're all willing to provide you pads or tampons – in fact, they're happy to."

Harry waved her off. "I'm fine; two's enough for me. Tell them 'thanks' though."

 _Two? Just two?_  Hermione pounced at him, "I don't know what Luna taught you, but you need to change it every hour! Especially if you're able to unexpectedly soak it through so easily!"

He raised an eyebrow. "I don't know what kind of plane you usually make, but mine doesn't need to be changed every hour. I have better aim than that!"

Hermione could feel her brain crash, "P – Planes?"

"Yeah, I had this idea to make a plane out of something other than paper 'cause that just doesn't last long enough, and you don't have really great control over it. I needed something long and thin I could paste wings on with probably a round tip – you know, aerodynamics. So here I was thinking out loud, then Luna, who was passing by heard me and told me about tampons. I borrowed one from her the day before to make a plane. I worked out fine, let me tell you! It flew so far too! So far that it landed in the lake and got all soggy and soaked through." Harry nodded to himself sadly, "I had to borrow another one from Luna yesterday to remake it."

"…"

Harry smiled, "Anything wrong, 'mione?"

"So no male menstrual cycle?" Hermione asked slowly, feeling a twitching eye starting to occur.

"Nope. Why does everyone keep asking me that? I never said anything about having a damn menstrual cycle in the first place!"

"You said you had your period!"

"Exactly! I did!" he yelled back

"The why are you –" The Fat Lady's portrait slammed open interrupting Hermione's retort back.

Luna, of all people, waltzed in joyously. "Hi Harold, Hermione. Ready to fly your tampon plane?" She asked, waving her own in the air."

"Yup," Harry took a look at hers, "Oh, nice design!"

"Thank you; I coloured it golden-yellow and drew potion vials on it for good luck. Makes you think of the Felix potion doesn't it? That's what I named it, by the way."

"Luck's not going to help it fly further than mine!" Harry boasted, "although, you think I should've coloured mine red so it'd live up to it's name?"

Hermione jolted up as she suddenly realized something, "Harry, what's your plane's name?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Period – what else do you think I've been talking about this whole morning? I had it in my pocket, and you know just how fast it soaks up liquids! If it got soggy again, I wouldn't be able to beat Luna's Felix! Why else did you think I told the judges I couldn't participate because I have my period (on with me)?"

Hermione thud her head on the table in front of her and groaned. "You knew  _exactly_ what we were thinking when you said that!" she shot back.

"What  _ever_  are you talking about?" Harry cried, eyes wide open.

"You aren't fooling anyone looking like that."

"Hermione, how could you think so badly about me! And here I was, planning to let you watch our epic plane race!"

Hermione rolled her eyes, "You – just you wait 'till you the Daily Prophet comes tomorrow, you prat." She snapped at him. "Just you wait."


	3. Round and around we go~

The four champions lined up in the quidditch pitch, just in front of the hedge maze of the third task.

"Anything you'd like to day before we start, Mr Potter?"

Harry shook his head boredly at Ludo Bagman, the judge and announcer for the Twiwizard Tournament.

"No?" Surely the boy would have another excuse to sit it out? "You reckon you'll actually have a chance this time, eh? No problems, lad? No phobia, allergy, period, hungry, washroom break?"

Hmm, well since he was so nice to ask … "Now that you meantion it –" Harry started.

"Potter!"

Harry mildly registered Cornelius Fudge's voice in the back of his head.  _Oh, right, he was watching too._

"I'm just kidding! I have nothing against mazes. As long as I treat it as such, I'm fine. And it's not like another excuse will work on you." He thankfully remembered to mutter the last sentence under his breath.

"Well, Mr Potter, a maze this may be, but it's still the Third Task. It wouldn't do well to underestimate it's terrors within."

Harry idly waved his hand to dismiss his words, "Don't worry, I'm not."

Bagman looked suspiciously at the boy in front of him. After finding ways to avoid participating for the first two tasks, would he really give in to the last one?

He had to be up to something …

"Very well, then." There was nothing he could do to prove it at the moment. Casting a _sonorus_  on his throat, he cleared it, capturing the audience's attention. "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Third Task of Hogwart's Triwizard Tournament. Here, in front of our four champions is the Third Task. Looks like a simple maze, right? Of course not; deep inside lies horror that would keep you up at night. The first of the four to make it through the maze and grab the cup hidden in the middle and emerge out the other end wins." He waved at the four, "Good luck champions. Cedric – so … on my whistle" Bagman said, "Three – two – one –" He gave a short blast on his whistle, "GO!"

Harry waited as the other three champions, Cedric Diggory, Victor Krum, and Fleur Delacour, with the scores of eighty-five, eighty, and sixty-one respectively, were ushered in before him. Having the lowest score of twenty-five, Harry was the last one allowed in.

"Good luck, Potter," Bagman whispered as he blew the whistle again. Sure he was suspicious of the boy, but he also betted his life's saving on his victory – not that winning was able to boost him up to first place. Third, maybe, but not first or second, with fifty points being the maximum rewards allowed.

Harry, wasting no time, skipped into the maze.

\- wait, what? Skipped?

Harry shook his head at his own actions. He was definitely spending too much time with Luna.

Once in, any surrounding noise was immediately cut off. It was like being underwater again – or at least, that's what he wanted to say, but alas, he didn't take the Second Task.

It wasn't his fault he had his period with him that day …

Taking several steps, Harry was forced to cast a  _Lumos_  in order to see. It appeared the deeper he roamed, the darker it was.

Outside, the audience held their breath as they hoped patiently for their favourite champion to be the first one to grab the cup.

What else was there to do?

The maze may have been in the middle of the quidditch pitch, but the overhead bushes allowed no one to look inside. One had to wonder why the bothered to come watch this match in the first place when nothing could be seen.

Sitting and waiting was a very boring task.

If the dear wizards and witches actually thought it through, they should have realized that coming to watch later in the day was a smarter idea.

No one, not even Harry with his amazing, unwavering (except maybe that day where his name unnecessarily flew out the goblet – although to most people having their name come out  _was_  actually good luck) luck, was able to find the cup from one end of the maze to the other within, say, an hour. Why come so early then?

Alas, being wizards and all, meant they lacked certain common sense, and came right at the beginning of the event.

There was a rather dull silence as they crowd did nothing but sit and stared at the maze.

Seriously, what would you do anyways?

In the hush, anything you do would immediately stand out - whether a fart or taking out a novel to pass the time. Of course, when that happens, instead of joining you, the others might start getting annoyed at your lack of excitement during the ' _Triwizard Tournament with Harry Potter in it and actually participating for once with no qualms'_ of all things.

Or maybe they're just jealous you remember to bring a book to read.

Minutes ticked by. Or maybe it'd been an hour?

Something moved by the opening.

Charlie Weasley, being Hogwart's ex-seeker, and trainer of fast-flying dragons, noticed it from the corner of his eye and leaned forward to get a better glance at it.

"There's someone by the opening!" He yelled.

Conversation buzzed around.

_Already!_

_Someone was coming out!_

_Who could it be?_

_Krum! No, it had to be Cedric! Of course it's Harry! No; Fleur!_

_Who got the cup?_

_Who won?_

_Who was the Triwizard champion?_

Heads swivelled around trying to catch a glimpse of the arriving victor. Mature adults became children, pushing and shoving their way to have a look.

_Who was it?_

A mob of unruly black hair peaked out. Krum or Potter … ?

"Hi, did I win?"

– definitely Potter.

Ludo Bagman rushed over to him. No – scratch that; Bagman  _looked_  over at him. He didn't move, and neither did he have to.

"No, Potter, you have not won," he said, rather monotonous, "This is the  _entrance_  of the maze, and you don't have the cup."

Harry looked over at him innocently, "Oh, is it?"

"I'm afraid you made a complete turnabout somewhere, Potter," Bagman droned dejectedly. It seemed he expected too much of the kid. "Feel free to try again."

"Feel free?" Harry latched on to his misspoken words.

 _Of course, I should have known he would say that._ The announce thought. He glared at the boy, "It is an order, Potter. Enter the maze again. You know you are bound to participate. It doesn't end until someone finds the cup. If you want to leave so badly,  _find it_." Bagman hissed. Just find the damn cup already!

Harry pursed his lip into a pout. "Awww; alright, then." He gave a jaunty wave, "See you all soon!" He turned around, "You can't say I'm not participating," he yelled and entered the maze again.

The crowd sighed as a whole. They should have known Potter didn't have the cup. He was always the root of all problems.

Minutes passed again, and soon the crowd grew restless once more.

As if to save them from their dull entertainment, a figure was seen by the entrance - yes, I said entrance – once again.

It seemed another poor fool managed to turn around like Potter. Who could it be now?

The figure moved in the shadow, dancing just inside the maze, teasing the audience and keeping them in unnecessary (well, maybe necessary, since it relieved them of their boredom) anxiety and wait.

Finally, a head poked out, and the spectators' soaring high spirits dropped low once more.

Why?

Harry Potter stepped forth from the hole in the hedges with a grin.

"Hi."

Bagman looked at him incredulously, "Potter, what are you doing here again?"

He gave a nonchalant shrug, "I thought this was the exit."

"Again?"

Harry kept his face blasé. "Well, it _is_  a maze – you know, with dead ends and returning loops and roads connecting everywhere. It really isn't my fault if I keep getting turned around!'

Or maybe it was ...

"And just –" A thought crossed the older man's mind. "So that's why you participated!" he yelled.

"I beg your pardon?"

Bagman gestured widely to show he caught on to Harry's scheme, "I bet you didn't go anywhere at all! You just walked straight until you hit the wall, stood there for a while, then walked back out! It's a perfectly valid defence that you got lost in the maze since we can't prove it!"

Harry made a face at his accusations, "I beg to differ; that's not what happened at all, and I refused to have myself belittled out here as someone who finds sneaky ways to get out of participating in the Tournament!" He declared, pointing dramatically at the audience.

Right … because he  _didn't_  happened to 'find sneaky ways to get out of participating the Tournament' for the first two tasks, eh?

"If it helps, though," Harry offered sweetly, "I can swear it under that lie-detector spell again." He fluttered his lashes innocently.

"Fine!" Bagman took his challenge, despite his nagging feeling that Harry, being Harry, made the spell completely ineffective. After all, it was proven last task; there was no way a boy could have a period.

As Harry repeated that 'no, he did not walk in a straight line to the end wall of the maze, waited, and walked back' the light around him shimmered white.

He really wasn't lying about the fact, it seemed.

"How are you doing this!" Bagman hissed angrily. How did a mere boy cheat the spell? Did being  _Harry_  have anything to do with it? -  _Harry,_ not  _Hairy_ , he thought idly, remembering their last conversation. Or maybe his hair had supernatural powers, and that's why he tried to draw attention away from it the last task.

The boy gave a huff of annoyance, "Fine, be mean to me; I'm leaving!" With a turn on his heel, he stepped back into the maze.

 

* * *

 

 

**LATER THAT DAY**

Harry stood by Mrs Molly Weasley as her children and Hermione gathered around.

Engulfed in her hug, he could only grin as the woman patted him down for cuts and bruises.

"Harry, dear, are you alright? Hurt anywhere?" They were just rhetorical questions, as she gave him no time to answer and continue checking him for boo-boos.

Why couldn't he say 'boo-boos'? Mrs Weasley, after all, was treating like a child. It fit the scene quite nicely.

Hermione ruined the moment with her stiff, straight-down-to-business, "What did you do now?"

"Why, I don't know what you mean?" Harry said charmingly.

She gave a snort. "Don't give me that look. After your last stunt, I should've known you were up to something for the next task as well. You already discredited Mr Bagman's theory, so what happened?"

Harry gave a fake sniffle and cringe at Hermione's chiding, "If you're going to talk to me in that tone, I'd rather not tell you."

Hermione, being the intelligent witch she was, caught on to the key words of the sentence, "So you  _were_  up to something!"

He grinned cheekily.

"Harry!"

Harry looked at everything but her, immediately distracted by –  _ohh, pretty clouds …_ Damn, he  _was_  spending too much time with Luna.

"Harry!" her tone dropped a pitch. Scary.

"Aren't you suppose to be a Know-it-all?" he muttered to himself.

Hermione's amplified glare caused him to freeze up and give her a 'if I tell, will you stop looking at me like you're going to cook me up to eat, bone and all' grin.

"Alright, alright, I'll tell," Hermione, in front of him, gave an approving nod at his words, "I went in the maze, stood by the entrance, and came out on several occasions pretending I got lost and turned back accidentally." He puffed out his chest, "Smart, eh?"

Hermione was at a loss of words, "But – But that's what Mr Bagman said!" How did Harry lie his way out of it?

Harry shook his head with a snort, "That's where you're wrong. He said I walked to the end wall and waited there. Me, I just stood by the entrance. There's a difference, you know." He wagged his finger in front of his friend's nose disapprovingly, "Don't depict me as someone who would actually do  _that_  much for this stupid tournament." Harry wandered off, heading towards the Great Hall where the champions were suppose to gather to receive their congratulations, still talking to Hermione, "Walking to the end's too much work for this foolish event. I mean, I didn't even want to join in the first place."

With that, Harry left, with his hands behind his head, whistling lazily, having successfully avoided the three tasks. Well, two, he should say, after all, he did run in the first one. Just run; didn't even need to dodge.

Seriously though, who let students participate in potentially dangerous tasks anyways – especially a fourteen-year-old at that?


	4. Thinking inside the box

"Potter." Alastor Moody snapped as he saw the boy making his way towards the Great Hall. "A minute of your time?"

"Err-"

Moody couldn't let the boy get away. "I just want to hear about what you did for the Tasks. Quite ingenious, lad." The one-eyed man complimented, trying to buy time. "Come, step into my office to talk." There was a glitter of something positively  _evil_  in his eyes.

"Well, if you insist." Harry started hesitantly.

Dumbledore came up from behind them, "Ah, then Alastor, my friend, do you mind if I joined in as well? I'm quite curious about what happened myself."

Alastor Moody, or should I say the imposter, swore under his breath. He hadn't expected the Headmaster to overhear. And now, he couldn't uninvited him either. "Of course, Albus. Come along." He would ditch the man as soon as he could.

They quickly headed towards Professor Moody's office. Harry sat in front of his two professors. He fidgeted. "So…?"

"What  _did_  you do, my boy?"

The Boy-Who-Lived-To-(at long last)-Avoid-Potentially-Harming-Himself-For-One-Sc hool-Year-Of-His-Whole-Bloody-School-Life laughed nervously. "Well, all I did was take a page out of Luna's book."

"Lovegood?" Alastor asked with a gruff voice.

"Yup. You know, all I needed to do was think outside the box."

At his professor's incomprehensive stares, Harry sighed. "How about a visual, then?" He got up and looked around. "Say this was the box." He started, pointing to a trunk stashed away in the corner of the room.

"Boy, don't touch that-"

Harry ignored him, opening it up, "So you are, like, in the box, alright? Your thoughts all cramped up in there. And I stand outside –" Harry suddenly peered in, "Say, there's a tied up Moody in here…"

The occupants of the room froze.

"Just thought you might be interested to know, really." Harry continued, inching away from the object, hands up in the air. "Honestly, I wasn't doing this to foil anyone's plans. Again. For the fourth year in a row… Honestly!"

Really, why couldn't he actually have a  _relatively_  peaceful school year? Things seemed to be going so well after the Three Tasks, but no-o, he just had to open that trunk, didn't he? It was a bloody  _trunk_  for Merlin's sake! How was he supposed to know it would put him in danger again!

The fake Moody flicked his wrist, wand in hand, " _Stupef-"_

" _Expelliarmus!"_  Dumbledore shouted. " _Stupefy."_ He tied up the imposter with a quick flick of his wand. "Good job, Harry, my boy!"

"Erm… okay."

"What an old fool I have been." The old man continued, "I thought Alastor seemed a little closed minded lately. Who'd have thought that it was because he was actually thinking inside the box the whole time?"

"Actually he was  _stuffed_  inside a box..."

The old headmaster didn't seem to hear a word he said, "Ahh, yes, the box is a horrifying thing, my dear boy. That's why all great minds must think outside of it. A bright one she is, that Ms Lovegood."

Harry continued to edge towards the door. "Um, Professor, while that's all fine and dandy, can I just go eat now? Or should I hide under my bed until the last day, since I'm apparently not going to be safe until the school year is  _completely_  over and done with."

"Oh, no, run along, Harry. I'll make sure to ask the house elves to check your meals for poisons if you're really so paranoid." Dumbledore said idly, waving his hands. "And be sure to check under your bed for dust bunnies before you go crawling under it." He added seriously.

The Gryffindor opened the door.

"Harry!" a female voice yelled from down the hall. "Where have you been?"

The boy's eyes widened, "Oh, Hermione," he sighed in relief, "you'd never guess. Just hear what happened to me today…"

And the door slammed shut behind him as Harry scampered away.


End file.
